Running on Empty

A week ago, I pulled into town to do a shift at my job 

and realized I needed to find a gas station....and quick!  It was early Sunday morning and nothing was open so I went to the closest gas station and just sat at the pump waiting for them to open.  But I sat there safe....knowing that in a few minutes someone would open the doors and come rescue me. 

My van is empty, coasting into the gas station on fumes, and the Range says "0 kms to go"

How often do I let myself get this way? 

I coast through to the end of the week on fumes because I've been so busy (either taking care of actual business/other people/work, etc....or procrastinating and just not paying attention to how I'm feeling or what I need to keep going). I'm kinda ashamed to say that I have found myself in this situation more than once....not the van....but me....running on empty and still trying to do, do, do.  

And then, right when I need the reminder, God sends a song.  Always.  

So I will be still, and know you are God.  

That moment of sitting, and knowing that He is God.
I'm Safe.
 I'm Rescued.

Expectancy

Expectancy

(not my photo....but a free one that says what I want to say)

I'm not sure how 3 years went by and my blog went unattended.  

I'm guessing part of it had to do with living in Survival Mode for a few of those years; letting the things that feed my soul fall to the wayside while taking-care-of-business had to be a priority; raising kids through some cray-cray teenage struggles; figuring out who, in fact, I am in this new world I've found myself in; and just the busyness of life. 

 

OK.  I'm exactly sure that's how 3 years went by and my blog went unattended.  

But this week, my cell leader asked me to share my story with the ladies in my cell.  It was more of a Q&A, and less of me speaking solo, in the end, because we're that kind of group....and I loved it.  One of the reason I haven't shared much of my story publicly is that I think my story is best told on a comfy couch with a cup of coffee, and not from a podium somewhere.  But whatever the case, having to write some of it out this past week or two forced me to go back to some of my old blog posts to remember what I was feeling back then.  In the process I have been reminded of many things.....primarily how God is faithful.  No matter what.  He has given me so many verses, songs, words, people, etc., to see me through some of the worst circumstances and I am in awe of how He's carried me. 

And so I find myself on the cusp of another new world now as my youngest finishes high school and I am investigating a new career path....or possibly just an additional career path....?  We'll see.   Whatever the case, I KNOW that my God will continue to be faithful.  I know that he will continue to provide and carry me.  I have long held to the theory that I can't live with expectations.....but rather live in EXPECTANCY of what God is going to do.  I'm excited to see.  It will be good.  Stay tuned :)

And in the meantime, I'll leave you with the verse that has come to epitomize my life as I wait for what God will surprise me with:  

Habakkuk 1:5

"Look at the nations and watch, and be amazed.  For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told."