I threw myself a birthday party yesterday :)
I know...a little weird, but it just felt like the right thing to do. And as much as it was about celebrating turning 40....for me, it had more to do with thanking the people who have been carrying me and caring for me. My significant ones. Investing in them a little. Not paying back - that will never be possible, but at least letting them know that I have appreciated every single one of them this past year in particular.
We had baked potato wedges, pork tenderloin, veggies and breads....and every single food item had an appropriate dip to go with it - I am ALL about the dips :) In fact...I think food in general is a dip-vehicle. We had Kelsey's 4-cheese spinach dip, artichoke dip, dill dip, black bean dip, and some amazing mayo-dip for potatoes. Oh, and the perfect end to the perfect meal: cheesecake. Yum. And enough leftovers for lunch at school tomorrow!!
No gifts, I said...and of course, no one listened so I sat alone, late at night after the party was over, opening envelopes....and wishing that someway I could repay these people for their generosity...and knowing that my only way to do that is to pray that God will do it for me.
This beautiful owl chain I got from Mica. When I came home from the party, she couldn't resist giving it to me early - we are SO much alike....I can't keep a present till the actual day to save my life. I love it - partly because it's silver and an owl....yay....but partly because the story behind it is that she bought it with her own money, at Bootlegger....she saw it hanging there and knew immediately I'd love it - but I was in the changeroom trying on jeans so she bought it quickly before I could finish and come out. Very very sneaky. I love that girl. I forgot to take a picture but the boys gave me their gift today too - a bowl they bought at 10,000 Villages - made in the Philippines I think, out of recycled magazine pages. I'll post a picture tomorrow. Oh, and 3 small stamps they picked up at The Scrapbook Cottage for me. Yay again.
Lynette made me this cute "sucker-bouquet" that says 40 Sucks.
Which, by the way, I fully expect it won't!
Tonight I climbed into bed to journal and read my Bible and I realized the journal I have, I got for my birthday last year....so I decided to go back and see what I had to say LOL.
My life has been such a rollercoaster since then but I can't believe how carried I've been and how much I've grown this past year (fortunately, I'm talking spiritually, not height or weight).
Here's a passage from my journal just about a year ago that struck me tonight as poignant.
November 10, 2010
Hey, I get it. I finally get the passage in Daniel that I love so much.
"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O King. But even if he does not, we want you to know O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
I've loved this passage - even highlighted it, but today I get it. I know God could rescue me from my current "troubles." He is able. And He will rescue me from this all. Either now, or eventually. He will. He promised to never leave me. But even if He doesn't (rescue me, in the world's view or in the world's timing), I will still praise Him. I still know that what I'm going through is Him rescuing me. This is God saving me; bringing me into a better place; increasing my joy; drawing me to Himself. If those around me think that I'm in crisis and God is not acting....they're wrong. I'm in crisis, and God is moving through this to do an amazing work in me, in my kids and in Trev, I pray. There is never a time in this crisis of mine when God is absent or not in control. This crisis is my rescue. This crisis is proof of His love for me and His desire to draw me closer. The lengths He'll go to to bring me to Himself!! How can I not love a God who wants me so badly.
