A few days ago I was having a bad day. The morning wasn't going as planned, things weren't getting done before school, I was feeling a little alone in this business of running the household and I am sure that I took it out on the kids. I do need to teach them to pitch in and be a part of the team that will make this family work, but I don't need to be so grumpy about it. So, I had to apologize to them and acknowledge that I wasn't being the mom I needed to be that morning.
Later that day, my daughter made this in school and today she gave it to me.
When she told me which day she'd drawn it, I immediately was hit with a tremendous amount of guilt. Wow, I thought. That's me...the big flower hovering over her and dripping my anger and issues down onto my kids, and in turn, the little flower who I assumed was her, is bent over and drooping due to my insensitive blow-up. I started to cry and apologized all over again for that horrible morning.
Then came the humbling part.
She looked at me and said,
"No Mom, that's not at all what the picture's about.
It's you and me, but you're not angry.
You're shading me and protecting me from the sun.
You're catching all the rain and watering me with it."
OK, now I'm really crying.
Somehow even when I lose it; even when I know I'm not being the mom I need to be....God is loving her through me. Despite my failings, he makes her feel safe here and loved; cared for and at peace.
These tears tonight were just one more reminder that God is carrying me and he is strong when I am weak.