So torn....

How can I be loving something so much and so anxious for it to end at the same time? I'm so torn inside. I adore my job at the school. I love it so much that (and I don't wanna say this too loud - LOL) I'd almost do it for free - as a volunteer. And yet this full-time month is exactly as "too much" as I thought it would be. I'm SO looking forward to going back to half-time in January.

The biggest surprises about being back in the workforce for me has been realizing that what I thought I'd love - I really do, and what I thought I'd be able to handle - is exactly how much I can handle. I think after being a SAHM for so long I'd begun to doubt whether I really knew who I was anymore, iykwim....but I think I still do know who I am, and what I want, and what I am capable of. And once again....after a month or two of adjustment....I'm finding myself exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's a freeing feeling.

I'm tired and busy, but very, very happy.

2 comments:

Oh Scrap!! said...

Congratulations Cathy!! i know most been hard the change but is good to feel and know you can still be a lot more,hugs,Rosa.

kim brimhall said...

I know this feeling. Its one that helps you bloom! good luck!